Page 59 - RiseUpWarrior

Chapter 25 58 I don’t understand!” God was gentle with me, but frm. directions. I was getting more and more tired. During Sure enough, no kid’s camp during work hours. I could those two years, I lost some sleep. do it as a hobby if I wanted. Because it was so painful Now that God was the boss ALL THE TIME, He was to let go of, and because we already had a team from the actually ordering me to rest on the weekend. I had United States planning to come, I decided to keep it as never experienced before being ordered to rest. But we a hobby. I talked to Dwight, who understood God’s side obeyed, and just laid around all day Sunday. I didn’t go immediately. “What? You don’t want the kid’s camp shopping, I didn’t cook meals for the week, and I didn’t either???” My husband gently pointed out how much dream up any new projects. After church I just napped, time, effort and money went into camp every year. then watched a movie with my husband, then read a Dwight thought it cost too much for the return-value. book, and then nibbled whatever food we found easy. Yes, kids were receiving ministry. Yes, we were chang- We just laid around like logs in a forest or vegetables ing lives. But the VBS material I was writing was going without brains. We “vegged”. to over 1000 churches that year. The camp had chil- dren from only 5 different churches. Dwight thought And so I entered a new season of my life: slavery to maybe I should write a kid’s camp and give it to the God. He was my boss at work and at home. I didn’t 1000 churches instead. God seemed to like Dwight’s accept an invitation to speak without His permission idea best. and I didn’t start writing a new curriculum without His permission. I didn’t take on any new hobbies and I had I went ahead with camp, even though it didn’t get or- to “VEG” all day on Sundays. This lasted for several ganized real well (Since I had to do it in my free time.) years. No longer did Dwight have to play the role of the I did have a great time at camp that year, but I knew in “bad guy”. God took on the role. my heart it was my last. But with time, I got real good at recognizing the dif- And so began the end of my freedom. I shared with you ference between asking God’s permission and having earlier on how ministry started for me because I have the freedom to do what you want. I started to see it in seen others go through a similar progression. At frst, others. All-of-a-sudden I could see the freedom others Dwight and I had lots of freedom to try all sorts of min- had to choose what they did without stopping to ask istry projects. Soon God’s assignment became more real God’s permission. I have to admit to you, I had a twinge and tight. There wasn’t the same freedom anymore. of jealousy. It hurt to see others faunt their decisions, Two years into being God’s employee, at our annual when I wasn’t allowed any at all. I had to remind myself gift-exchange, God told me that it was time for me to over and over that slavery was a real promotion. I had receive a promotion! I fell to my knees and my excite- taken a step up God’s ladder, even if it feels like a step ment grew as I waited. Again God said it was time for down. Believe me, it did feel like a step down. When I my raise and promotion. I was going to take a step up saw others with “pet-projects” I had to remind myself the ladder. I felt humbled and honored! that it wasn’t best. Slavery to God was better. Then God’s gift hit like a freight train. I was to be pro- And so this slavery lasted for 3 years. I had a strict boss, moted to a slave! Again I didn’t understand, and so I God himself, who watched over my schedule. When- asked God what He meant. What is slavery? For me at ever I was invited to participate in someone’s children’s that time, it meant that I no longer was to work from 9-6 ministry, God told me NO. Whenever I was invited to for God. My whole week belonged to God. Bottom line: speak to teachers, God told me YES. And so in time, I no more hobby projects for me. If God didn’t approve a got used to what He wanted. project for me, it wasn’t allowed at all. With hindsight, I can see now that the employment And so life changed a little, and we continued on. One years were just prepping me for the slavery years. God weekend, I was gearing up for some fun hobby activi- was being gentle with me, allowing me to grow slowly. ties, and God reminded me that I was a slave. He didn’t And so the slavery process for me took 5 years to learn. want me OVER-playing on the weekend. You see, dur- And it wasn’t easy. ing the 2 years that I was an employee, there were times When you frst start a ministry, there is a honeymoon that I actually seemed to have 2 bosses. God was the time, where you actually have a lot of freedom, and boss during work hours, and I was the boss over the God is showing you many miracles. But you can’t stay weekend. I got to choose how I played or worked on the in that zone where you get to have any ministry project weekend, and so it seemed at times to pull me in two that you want, not if you want to reap a great harvest.