Page 34 - RiseUpWarrior

33 Chapter 16 happen more than once. Really pure silver is heated 7 hard it actually felt. That is one reason why I believe times, each time removing more dross. I don’t know if it was actually GOD himself turning up the heat on that means we get to go thru this 7 times, but I hope not. me purposefully. I also believe He did it because I had It sure hurts! asked Him for more. I guess the next step “for more” was to remove some dross. This is the part where God turns up the heat so hot in your life, that nasty things start spewing out of you. I recall going to my dad and asking him what to do. It I couldn’t even stop things from fying out of my was frustrating, because by this time, I felt way up the mouth! ladder. I had a confdence in who I was as a Christian and minister. But God took the time to clean me up, to In my case, I had already learned to be kind to others, and do without my daily diet coke when I had to. I had get to some things that were buried deep down. already learned to be an example to the children around So my dad’s response to me was something very diff- me. But for some reason, I had forgotten all the things cult. He told me that even though I had been living great I had already learned, and had resorted back to childish over the past years, and not showing these terrible atti- behavior. This testing period where God was clearing out the For you and me to have dross lasted for 6 months! Let me back up and tell you what really happened. Be- greater value, or to fore becoming a teacher at this Christian school, and climb this inner ladder, before I had lost my cool... something happened be- tween me and God. just like silver, we must I asked Him for more. Yep, you guessed it, I brought this on myself! have the dross in our I had been studying at a Bible school in the states, but I felt as though all of the students around me were just lives removed. playing with it. No one seemed to take God seriously, and it was frustrating me. I told God that I wanted to be tudes, they must have been in my heart. If I am showing used by Him for great things, and that I didn’t like this them now, it means they were buried deep inside of me. “slow” track that everyone seemed to be on. I told God The only way to get rid of them was to slowly treat peo- that I was ready for more. I took some initiative. ple kindly once again, just like I had learned how to do it the frst time! I had to start working on my anger, one Then all-of-a-sudden my dad arrived from Mexico, day at a time. Honestly, it felt like I was going back 10 found me in a relationship with someone he didn’t ap- years and starting all over again! prove of, split us up, and tore me away from that Bi- ble school. He took me back to Mexico, where I found There is no easy way to get rid of the nasty things that myself accepting a teacher’s position at this Christian pop out of you. It has to be dealt with, one sin at a time. school. And it felt as if I had returned to the baby stage of Chris- tianity. There I was dealing with things I had already It all happened rather quickly. Into the fre I went. dealt with long ago. But I guess some had gotten buried I don’t know how God made life so diffcult for me, deep down, and God was taking some time to get it out. but He did. Everything was hard. It even felt hard to When you go thru the hot furnace of dross-removal, breathe. It was hard to get up every morning and hard to whatever you do, DO NOT push it back down in em- go to school. It was hard to prepare my lessons and hard barrassment. You must clean that stuff out of your heart, to handle my students. because that is where it came from. If not, you miss that I was given an autistic student, who I had to keep in step of the ladder, and will have to go through another my class and teach along with the others in my class. I furnace! Obviously, it is better to just do it right the frst had no training on working with special-needs children, time and not have to return to the furnace multiple times and the parents of this child refused to admit he was to remove the same dross. different. When I go back thru the furnace, I want to be dealing Even while I can share a few specifcs with you about with NEW dross and getting myself even more refned, this time, I fnd it diffcult to really account for how not working on the same ‘ol ugly anger problem!